My graduation remarks will serve as my final Community Conversation. Since this year's speech is a bit long, I will keep my preamble short. Thank you for taking the time to read these monthly musings, and thanks also to those of you wrote replies and reflections. Engaging in thoughtful conversation is one of the true benefits of working in an education community such as Marshall. Happy trails! Commencement 2021 Graduates, I have had the privilege of addressing eight graduating classes here at Marshall, and it has been an honor that I fully cherish. Planning my remarks is a process I cherish as well. The process begins when Ms. Kosmatka snaps the college Decision Day photo. Once that photo is posted on Facebook, I study the image and think about all you have accomplished as a class and all that is in front of you as individuals. Then I ask myself: what makes this group unique and what one thought would I like to leave with them? Wanting to honor the academic tradition of this august institution, since 2013, I have quoted Robert Frost, Bobby Kennedy, Annie Dillard, Henry David Thoreau, and Seamus Heaney in order to preface and frame my remarks.
This year, my books are all packed as I prepare to move on from the Hilltop with you, so I had to look elsewhere for inspiration. As this is my last commencement with you, and I'm feeling slightly less pressure to impress, I decided to draw on a less pretentious American classic for this bit of wisdom. That's right, my advice for you tonight springs from the film Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. I suspect many of you have seen the movie, yet few of you have ever thought of turning to Will Ferrell for life lessons.
Let me set the scene. It is late in the movie and, after washing out of racing and then fighting all the way back, Ricky Bobby vanquishes the French driver Jean Gerard. In a heartfelt moment, he attempts to give his estranged pappy, Reese Bobby, some credit for the victory. "If you ain't first, you're last," says Ricky, alluding to the words his father said years ago at a grade school career day. Unable to recall the moment, Reese stares back quizzically and then says these prophetic words: "Heck, son, that doesn't make any sense at all. You can be second, third, fourth; heck, you can even be fifth."
Class of 2021, despite what the world around you might say, every now and then you may want to remember the words of the modern philosopher Reese Bobby. To be sure, you do not need to be first to be a winner. Heck, you can finish fourth and live a charmed and fulfilled life. What matters at the end of the race is that you followed your passion, accepted the risk of failure, and gave it your all. I say this, because, as I look at your t-shirt day picture, I worry you have not heard that message often enough. Frankly, I worry that you can't hear this message over all the noise and all the shouts to the contrary; we live in a world that reinforces the notion that we must win at all costs to be successful and that all setbacks are failures.
To be honest, these very remarks tonight are part confession. Like Reese Bobby, the adults in your lives-- including me--sometimes give you mixed messages. This scene from the movie, as silly as it is, is just a metaphor for those moments when we reminded you of your potential and you internalized those reminders as make-or-break expectations.
Would I ruin the informal tone of this speech if I pointed out that the "Reese Bobby moment" is just a comical rehash of a common literary theme? Most of us spend our adolescence fearful that we will come up short of adult expectations; therefore, we actively daydream about surpassing adult expectations and, thus, vanquishing the very adults involved. In those daydreams, we defeat our own metaphoric Jean Girard's –only to ask the question: to whom are we really proving ourselves?
Just like the movie, this whole dance through adolescence is entirely necessary but just a bit silly.
So, why revisit this scene this year? Why offer this bit of advice to you, right now, in 2021? Good question. As I thought about your journey through these past several years, I realized something: Societal pressure is different right now; and there is more intense scrutiny on the teenage years. If adult and parental pressure is one source of angst that keeps teenagers from self-actualizing, the sheer proliferation of useless criticism in the world today, and in social media in particular, is making your journey even more complicated right now.
We are a world filled with emboldened critics and sports fans and social media influencers; not to mention people who lurk on Twitter or feel compelled to offer reviews on Yelp. We have become a nation infatuated with our own opinions; convinced that our judgement brings value to all situations. Which is, of course, utter nonsense. Although the internet provides everybody with a platform, and a megaphone, our opinions are no more useful today than they were pre-Facebook.
Seniors, when I reflect on your time with us, and on this past year in particular, I will recall that several of you opted into new activities outside your range of comfort or expertise. Zack Y, you led the way when you joined varsity soccer and elected to play the most visible position of all, goaltender. You followed that up by joining the ski team with Finn and Daniel, while Danielle strapped on skates and, in the highlight of her athletic career, caught a pass from Maren Friday in a practice. Danielle then joined the golf team along with Gianna and Lucy. Can you imagine that, with a basketball scholarship in hand and a WNBA career in front of her, Gianna was still willing to risk injury in the ever dangerous sport of golf?! And then there's Ben Keppers who took things just a bit further, joining a whole new school for his senior year and then signing up for just about every activity. Not to be outdone, Phillippe also chose a new school in a new state in a new country all during a global pandemic. Wow.
Class of 2021, as I look at the image of you in your college shirts, I see a group that is ready to move on to new arenas, a group that is ready to detach from us and our expectations of you, a group that is ready to ignore useless criticism and begin measuring up to internal expectations; a group ready to shed the image of a you we helped you create and replace it with your own emerging image of the authentic you; a group ready try new things, and to dare mighty things, and perhaps play some golf along the way.
So, this is the point in this rite of passage, where I get to say those words so dear to Ricky Bobby, "Drivers, start your engines." You are now more fully behind the wheel of your own life. From this point on think of us not as the adults you need to impress, not as critics, but as the pit crew you can call on if and when you blow a tire. When you strive valiantly and come up short, Marshall will be here for you. Heck, we will be cheering you on even when you come in fifth place.
Why?
Because, class of 2021, we see you. We know you are supremely talented, and we hope you shoot for the stars, and take some risks, and lead lives of purpose, whatever that may mean to you. (c) 2020 Marshall School |